Disclaimer 1: This write up does not glorify cheating or any other unlawful method used during exams.
Disclaimer 2: The write up has not been edited before posting. Please ignore the grammatical errors and typos.
2:00 PM
Me: I slept for just four hours last night. I should probably sleep for two hours and start studying for tomorrow's tests from 4.
4:00 PM, Alarm rings
Me (half asleep): I think starting from 5 wont do much harm. I anyway have whole night to prepare for tomorrow.
Wakes up at 6 finally
Search for book and place them on my bed.
Mum (As I am about to decide which one to pick first.) :Can you pls make a nice cup of coffee.
Me: I have to study. (In my mind: Damn, I can't even tell her that my exams are going. Wont be able to fb freely)
Mum: It would hardly take ten minutes.
Me (again in my mind): Gosh, I am already starting late, but damn it, I want coffee.
Finally at 7.
Me: Fuck, I don't know the syllabus.
Msg friends. "Guys, pls koi syllanbus bta do kal ka"
Garima Garg
replies after half an hour. I FB till then.
Read the msg and smile. (In my mind: That sounds easy. I'll be able to finish by 3 am)
Pick OR book thinking it has just numerical, once I get their trick I'll be equipped enough to pass.
Spend an hour trying to gauge how those numbers dangling in air, save economists from mental deficits.
Me: Fuck this. I will go to another subject. Btw, did I read it right that this OR topic is called Simplex and not complex?
Pick Macro now. Count the number of pages.
Me: Shit!!! 60 pages. And these Macro questions papers always have the topics from anywhere between to end. And to understand them, I'll have to go through all these initial ones first. Well chuck it then, I have Shailja sitting before me.
Pick OB. Count number of pages.
Me: Only 35 pages. Anyway, I just need to mug up only the subheadings, rest any story can be written under the hood of explanation. Will keep this for metro. Not worth enough to waste my precious preparation hours.
Check time.
Me: It's 8:30 and all I need to study is IFS. Just one subject. Two hours are enough.
Call Shraddha to take advice on how to prepare. She is herself confused. Start discussing the demerits of assessment week and hang up after 15 minutes.
Go for internal and eternal ablutions. Raid the kitchen. Ask mom to prepare dinner quickly. Other random activities.
Come back. Pick IFS book.
Mom: Come for dinner. Its ready.
Check time. 9:30.
Have dinner. Engage in random stuff. Time is now 11.
Think of picking the IFS book. Flip pages. Feel sleepy. Go wash face.
Me: Its 11. Just a two hours deal this thing is. Will start at 11:15 after checking my FB updates.
See feeds. First one a photograph by We owe JK Rowling our childhood.
Me: Another amazing Voldermort nose joke pick, sharing this.
The second feed by the same page is a photograph of toddler Emma Watson and Tom Felton.
Me: Awww this is so cute. Let me check all the pics in the albums.
Start checking all the picks. Like every alternate. This continues till 12. No more sleepy now.
Me: God, I need to log out.
Go to homepage. See a ROFLing post by a friend and the discussion under it.
Me: I'll just post this one comment and logout to study.
Comment. About to click logout when notification appears below.
Go directly to the post. Become active part of the discussion.
At 1
Me: Shit!! I am finally logging out now.
Log out.
Me: Let me just quickly IMDb HIMYM's next episode. Will hardly take 10 mins and then I'll go study.
See links of some films below the page. And thus begins the IMDb raid.
At 2
Go to Piratebay. Search torrents for some of the films. Put one of them to download. Switch off the screen. Go to drink water.
Pick IFS book. Check the inbox for syllabus. Msg already deleted. Text Trishala asking the syllabus.
Trishala texts the syllabus followed by "Apoorv bahut jaldi nahi pooch liya tune?"
Go to the chapter.Read the first page. Move to the first line of second. Get reminded of some film. Start thinking about it. Remember some conversation with someone. Start imaging some alternate conversation to it. Thoughts continue to jump from films to conversation.
Clock strikes 3
Me: Damn!! I was planning to study till 3 and it's already the time.
Start reading the second page. Realise it's not a two hour deal.
Me: Will study till 7.
3:15 am
Not even halfway through second page. Feel very sleepy.
Me: Cmon dude, you have to pull it till the morning someone. Just a matter of one day. From tomorrow I wont be this laid back and finish everything early.
5 mins later
Me: Maybe I should just sleep for an hour and then wake up and start studying.
Put alarms for 4, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30 and 7. Go to sleep.
Hear an alarm at 5. Switch it off.
Me: I'll start at 6.
Hear another alarm at 6:30.
Me: Fuck!! I am so damn late. No use of getting up now.
Go back to sleep. Wake finally at 7:30. Get ready. Leave for college at 8:30.
Mom: Why do you go so late to college, these days.
Me: No first lecture mamma. JK takes them and she hardly comes.
Board the metro. Take out IFS book. Start reading.
Reach NSP.
Me: Shit!! Could read only two pages. Anyway, I have Shailja sitting before me.
Enter examination room.
Me: Damn!! Why the hell is Neha the invigilator here. Neither she gives marks nor she lets us cheat.
Manisha mam enters.
Me: Chalo, atleast she wont stop us much from cheating.
Excitement among students. Commotion.
Manish (screams): Yesssssssssss.
First paper distributed.
Me: Shailja sarak udhar. Tepna hai mujhe tera pura paper. Kuch nahi aata mujhe aaj.
In know time I am sitting with just half half of my butt on the chair. Body half bent forward. Trying to peep into Shailja's paper from every hole and angle possible.
Neha: Apoorv, apne paper pe concentrate kro.
Smile shyly and sit back normally.
Write whatever I can see. Next paper distributed. First submitted.
Waiting for Shailja to start. Looking at the question paper with intense expressions every time a teacher sees me sitting idle.
After 5 mins.
Shailja. First wala aata hai? Mujhe kuch nahi aata isme.
Me: I was dependent on you.
Ask senior sitting beside for help. He tells a point or two. The whole test goes in quest for answers from wherever possible.
Next test starts. Shailja knows the answers this time. Back to the ever-so-comfortable cheating posture. Start copying Shailja's answers.
Manisha mam: Apoorv, would you like to sit with Shailja?
Me: Mam, please.
Laugh shamelessly and get back to the normal posture.
Third paper gets over. Last one distributed.
Me: Thank god, last.
Amisha mam enters as Neha mam leaves.
I am ofcourse in my cheating posture, copying from Shailja.
Amisha mam: Apoorv, xerox kra ke de du uski answersheet?
I smile shamelessly and go back to the normal posture.
Back to the cheating posture in two minutes.
Amisha mam (with serious expressions): Apoorv don't you think it's heights now?
Again the same shameless smile. Go back to normal posture.
Check my answer script. Consists of some random numbers copied from Shailja's paper. Meaning completely incomprehensible to me.
See Manvi whispering something to Shailja. Look at Abhishek. He smiles and get back to working on his paper.
Look at Garima. She is attempting the paper seriously.
Look at Aman. He's packing his stuff to submit the paper and leave.
I do the same thing. Both submit the paper and get out of the room.
Outside.
Aman: Kya gand tha?
Me: Completely fucked up. Par chhod na, pata hai maine kal raat kaunsi film download ki?
Aman: Kaunsi? Maine bhi kal Agneepath download ki. Aaj dekhunga..
Ten minutes later. Everyone is outside. Discussing the papers.
Someone: Dude, take this yesterday's OR answersheet of yours.
Me: Wow!! I get 1 out of 15. Time to go to the dustbin.
Go to the dustbin. Tear answer sheets into micro bits and chuck them in the dustbin. Experience orgasm like pleasure.
Abhishek (in a rhetorical tone): Saley tu kaise cheating karta hai?
Others second him.
Leave after 10 mins. Reach NSP metro station platform. Hop on the metro.
Me: Today I'll surely start studying at 4 for tomorrow's tests. Btw I think I should ask the syllabus for tomorrow. Chalo, will ask at 4 only.........
Disclaimer 2: The write up has not been edited before posting. Please ignore the grammatical errors and typos.
2:00 PM
Me: I slept for just four hours last night. I should probably sleep for two hours and start studying for tomorrow's tests from 4.
4:00 PM, Alarm rings
Me (half asleep): I think starting from 5 wont do much harm. I anyway have whole night to prepare for tomorrow.
Wakes up at 6 finally
Search for book and place them on my bed.
Mum (As I am about to decide which one to pick first.) :Can you pls make a nice cup of coffee.
Me: I have to study. (In my mind: Damn, I can't even tell her that my exams are going. Wont be able to fb freely)
Mum: It would hardly take ten minutes.
Me (again in my mind): Gosh, I am already starting late, but damn it, I want coffee.
Finally at 7.
Me: Fuck, I don't know the syllabus.
Msg friends. "Guys, pls koi syllanbus bta do kal ka"
Garima Garg
replies after half an hour. I FB till then.
Read the msg and smile. (In my mind: That sounds easy. I'll be able to finish by 3 am)
Pick OR book thinking it has just numerical, once I get their trick I'll be equipped enough to pass.
Spend an hour trying to gauge how those numbers dangling in air, save economists from mental deficits.
Me: Fuck this. I will go to another subject. Btw, did I read it right that this OR topic is called Simplex and not complex?
Pick Macro now. Count the number of pages.
Me: Shit!!! 60 pages. And these Macro questions papers always have the topics from anywhere between to end. And to understand them, I'll have to go through all these initial ones first. Well chuck it then, I have Shailja sitting before me.
Pick OB. Count number of pages.
Me: Only 35 pages. Anyway, I just need to mug up only the subheadings, rest any story can be written under the hood of explanation. Will keep this for metro. Not worth enough to waste my precious preparation hours.
Check time.
Me: It's 8:30 and all I need to study is IFS. Just one subject. Two hours are enough.
Call Shraddha to take advice on how to prepare. She is herself confused. Start discussing the demerits of assessment week and hang up after 15 minutes.
Go for internal and eternal ablutions. Raid the kitchen. Ask mom to prepare dinner quickly. Other random activities.
Come back. Pick IFS book.
Mom: Come for dinner. Its ready.
Check time. 9:30.
Have dinner. Engage in random stuff. Time is now 11.
Think of picking the IFS book. Flip pages. Feel sleepy. Go wash face.
Me: Its 11. Just a two hours deal this thing is. Will start at 11:15 after checking my FB updates.
See feeds. First one a photograph by We owe JK Rowling our childhood.
Me: Another amazing Voldermort nose joke pick, sharing this.
The second feed by the same page is a photograph of toddler Emma Watson and Tom Felton.
Me: Awww this is so cute. Let me check all the pics in the albums.
Start checking all the picks. Like every alternate. This continues till 12. No more sleepy now.
Me: God, I need to log out.
Go to homepage. See a ROFLing post by a friend and the discussion under it.
Me: I'll just post this one comment and logout to study.
Comment. About to click logout when notification appears below.
Go directly to the post. Become active part of the discussion.
At 1
Me: Shit!! I am finally logging out now.
Log out.
Me: Let me just quickly IMDb HIMYM's next episode. Will hardly take 10 mins and then I'll go study.
See links of some films below the page. And thus begins the IMDb raid.
At 2
Go to Piratebay. Search torrents for some of the films. Put one of them to download. Switch off the screen. Go to drink water.
Pick IFS book. Check the inbox for syllabus. Msg already deleted. Text Trishala asking the syllabus.
Trishala texts the syllabus followed by "Apoorv bahut jaldi nahi pooch liya tune?"
Go to the chapter.Read the first page. Move to the first line of second. Get reminded of some film. Start thinking about it. Remember some conversation with someone. Start imaging some alternate conversation to it. Thoughts continue to jump from films to conversation.
Clock strikes 3
Me: Damn!! I was planning to study till 3 and it's already the time.
Start reading the second page. Realise it's not a two hour deal.
Me: Will study till 7.
3:15 am
Not even halfway through second page. Feel very sleepy.
Me: Cmon dude, you have to pull it till the morning someone. Just a matter of one day. From tomorrow I wont be this laid back and finish everything early.
5 mins later
Me: Maybe I should just sleep for an hour and then wake up and start studying.
Put alarms for 4, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 6, 6:30 and 7. Go to sleep.
Hear an alarm at 5. Switch it off.
Me: I'll start at 6.
Hear another alarm at 6:30.
Me: Fuck!! I am so damn late. No use of getting up now.
Go back to sleep. Wake finally at 7:30. Get ready. Leave for college at 8:30.
Mom: Why do you go so late to college, these days.
Me: No first lecture mamma. JK takes them and she hardly comes.
Board the metro. Take out IFS book. Start reading.
Reach NSP.
Me: Shit!! Could read only two pages. Anyway, I have Shailja sitting before me.
Enter examination room.
Me: Damn!! Why the hell is Neha the invigilator here. Neither she gives marks nor she lets us cheat.
Manisha mam enters.
Me: Chalo, atleast she wont stop us much from cheating.
Excitement among students. Commotion.
Manish (screams): Yesssssssssss.
First paper distributed.
Me: Shailja sarak udhar. Tepna hai mujhe tera pura paper. Kuch nahi aata mujhe aaj.
In know time I am sitting with just half half of my butt on the chair. Body half bent forward. Trying to peep into Shailja's paper from every hole and angle possible.
Neha: Apoorv, apne paper pe concentrate kro.
Smile shyly and sit back normally.
Write whatever I can see. Next paper distributed. First submitted.
Waiting for Shailja to start. Looking at the question paper with intense expressions every time a teacher sees me sitting idle.
After 5 mins.
Shailja. First wala aata hai? Mujhe kuch nahi aata isme.
Me: I was dependent on you.
Ask senior sitting beside for help. He tells a point or two. The whole test goes in quest for answers from wherever possible.
Next test starts. Shailja knows the answers this time. Back to the ever-so-comfortable cheating posture. Start copying Shailja's answers.
Manisha mam: Apoorv, would you like to sit with Shailja?
Me: Mam, please.
Laugh shamelessly and get back to the normal posture.
Third paper gets over. Last one distributed.
Me: Thank god, last.
Amisha mam enters as Neha mam leaves.
I am ofcourse in my cheating posture, copying from Shailja.
Amisha mam: Apoorv, xerox kra ke de du uski answersheet?
I smile shamelessly and go back to the normal posture.
Back to the cheating posture in two minutes.
Amisha mam (with serious expressions): Apoorv don't you think it's heights now?
Again the same shameless smile. Go back to normal posture.
Check my answer script. Consists of some random numbers copied from Shailja's paper. Meaning completely incomprehensible to me.
See Manvi whispering something to Shailja. Look at Abhishek. He smiles and get back to working on his paper.
Look at Garima. She is attempting the paper seriously.
Look at Aman. He's packing his stuff to submit the paper and leave.
I do the same thing. Both submit the paper and get out of the room.
Outside.
Aman: Kya gand tha?
Me: Completely fucked up. Par chhod na, pata hai maine kal raat kaunsi film download ki?
Aman: Kaunsi? Maine bhi kal Agneepath download ki. Aaj dekhunga..
Ten minutes later. Everyone is outside. Discussing the papers.
Someone: Dude, take this yesterday's OR answersheet of yours.
Me: Wow!! I get 1 out of 15. Time to go to the dustbin.
Go to the dustbin. Tear answer sheets into micro bits and chuck them in the dustbin. Experience orgasm like pleasure.
Abhishek (in a rhetorical tone): Saley tu kaise cheating karta hai?
Others second him.
Leave after 10 mins. Reach NSP metro station platform. Hop on the metro.
Me: Today I'll surely start studying at 4 for tomorrow's tests. Btw I think I should ask the syllabus for tomorrow. Chalo, will ask at 4 only.........
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