The Gift of Loving

There's something that draws me to you

Don't know if this is love,

but there's something that makes me concerned for you

Don't know if this is love, because I don't know what is love.

Still i feel jealous when you talk to others,

Feel guilty when you look solemn,sad or hurt,

And betrayed when you behave like a stranger

Now people call them signs of love.

I know how naive I am when it comes to romance.

So i just wish I could reach out to your mind.

But also,i need to reach out to my own mind first.

I love to take care of your small little things,

Silently watch you smile from the corner of my eyes,

And gaze in your intense eyes when no one around is watching.

May be that's from where i can lure out a solution to my conundrum like emotions.

Because i know behind the curtain of your subtleness lies a world of mysterious beauty.

A mystery which i am unable to comprehend,

And till i dont know it, i think i wont be able to love you.

Or may be i am too unacceptable for you,

And that explains why i feel so condescending for myself.

So as these might be my first steps towards loving you,

I need to realise that the buck stops here.

Its destination is something that does not exist for me.

I wonder if this harsh truth would stop me from caring for you, liking you and being there for you!!

And the answer is 'No', ofcourse.

I know that expecting love in return from you would make me feel more condescending.

All this may be for the sake of this earlier illusion that you liked me,

Or perhaps because love is not a service that comes with terms and conditions

And it's not that i am getting nothing in return of loving you.

You're giving me something inadvertently and unknowingly.

You're giving me the much awaited, much desired change in myself that i always wanted,

And i am liking every bit of it.

So loving you, if it actually is, brings me at peace with myself.